It took some time but I finally feel like things are coming together. I have settled into a steady schedule and I know pretty much what is required of me each day. I like this feeling. It feels like I have a handle on my life. The funny thing is that the more settled I feel the more work I seem to have. It never really ends. As a child there was the phrase “finished with my homework” that I don’t seem to be able to use anymore. The work is never finished. There’s always more reading, more videos to watch, or just something more I can do to get prepared for the next day’s lesson. I love it. I feel responsible. These challenges are preparing me for real life. In the future, I may be a mother who has to take care of more than one child, make time for her husband, work as a nurse, make time for herself, and most likely be in school again moving up the latter of nursing. There will always be something to do. The other day, a friend of mine who had recently graduated from undergrad complained of being bored. She had not started working yet and she had nothing to do with her days. Most of her friends are still in school and cannot empathize with her. At first, when I heard her remarks I felt a hint of jealousy. I longed for the days when I was able to stay in bed all day and catch up on the last six episodes of Grey’s Anatomy without a care in the world. However, after thinking about it more I realized that I don’t envy her at all. My mind is now wired to do. I want to fill my days learning and practicing my skills. Even if I feel that I have read all the pages I need to and have watched every video that was assigned, I can’t wait to hang out with friends so that I can take their blood pressures! I am a new me. I used to be the person who wanted to finish everything early, regardless of if I understood it or not. I just wanted to be done. Now, I can’t even imagine a situation in which the work would be done. Not until I graduate at least!
Is it Over Yet?
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